I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
