i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
