READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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