Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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