I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
