I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
