I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize