Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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