...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
