I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I need water and some morals
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
