For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
