Yo dont text me then not text me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
