Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dignity is for republicans.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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