You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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