He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
