It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
