Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
then he tried to convert me to islam
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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