No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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