ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
