oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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