Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
