On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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