What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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