i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
