I'm gonna have a badass scar
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
