so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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