Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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