idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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