And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
