Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
