The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
