Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dick very happy bro
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
