I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
