Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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