I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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