I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
