none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
