I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
