sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
