Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
