Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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