i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
