i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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