omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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