I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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