I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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