Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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