How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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