come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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