Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
