Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
