i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
