we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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