she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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