Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
