And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
