so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
