let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
