You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
