I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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