In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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