at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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