Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
