He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
