ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
