so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
