Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
