his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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