I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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