She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
