he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
