3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
